dont be a faggot
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cybugs:

one time my uncle bought a tumbleweed so every time one of his students made a bad joke he could roll it across the classroom 

(via handjob)

healiing:

Having friends on tumblr is really great. I often refer to you guys in real life as “my friend from england/australia/california/new york” and it makes people think I’m very well traveled when really I’ve just spent a lot of time on the Internet.

(via d0nn0)

nodaybuttodaytodefygravity:

when you make a joke and someone tells you “that’s not very nice”

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(via stability)

waitress:i'm sorry we're all out of mozzarella sticks
waitress:sir please stop cyring

megaminun:

"omg im so tired i only got 7 hours of sleep last night"

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(Source: gostle, via handjob)

unsharedmemories:

do you ever start a multiple choice question and just when you think you have the answer you see “all the above” or “none of the above” opinion and you start you question your entire life?

(via d0nn0)

postllimit:

why iphones gotta take two million years to turn back on after they die like you plug em in and you’re all ready to start texting again but they’re like “nope. i gotta take some time for myself. figure out who i am. you hurt me too much the last time. let me think.”

(Source: postllimit, via stability)

tea-is-just-grass:

when someone with no real authority over you tells you to do something

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(Source: heart-strung, via handjob)

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